The Lord has given me words and visions from time to time about my future. Here are a few along the theme of poverty:

When I was a young Christian, probably in the very early 1980s, I was watching a show on TV and the scene was of a meeting of people down on their luck, perhaps it was an AA meeting or something. The room was bare except for their folding metal chairs. The guys were wearing jackets and hats so I thought of the room as being chilly. The men were humbly thanking and praising God for His help. An arrogant thought flashed through my mind, "What do they have to be so thankful for? They have nothing." 

As soon as I thought that, I instantly KNEW that God would have to teach me the answer to that question. I KNEW that I had to go to that 'place' to know that God was God. His blessings and presence in a person's life is not restricted or diminished by material things or circumstances.

Many years passed and that little episode drifted out of my thoughts since both my regular and spiritual lives were trending upward. In the late '80s and very early '90s I had a great intimacy with Jesus and many wonderful spiritual experiences. I was on the top of the world despite some anxiety about downsizings that were happening at work. My relationship with Jesus was so blissful that I expected only wonderful things to happen and that, with Christ, I would be going "from glory to glory".

Around 1994, I was driving in to work through a portion of Worcester, MA on an urban street, not the poorest area, but not really middle class; it was more like lower middle class, an area with triple-decker apartments. The Lord said that He would bring me among them. I understood that I was to have the same type of financial circumstances as the people in that area; this was very unsettling to me since I was better off than that at the time.

In late 1994 I had other visions and words that announced change, including the date I ended up being terminated in January 1995. Two periods of unemployment (one without any unemployment benefits), a period of drastic under-employment, loss of my townhouse, living off credit cards, and even a stretch of homelessness (I was taken in for a few months by a Christian aquaintence), the theft of my auto, loss of most of my worldly goods and all of my savings, a string of costly dental problems and increasing debt followed that word from God.

After the depth of this ordeal, I was prompted by word and vision to my current job and apartment. Despite small trials, both have been blessings and respites for me.

My parents passed away in 2001 & 2004. I was supposed to receive an inheritance (one that would have at least take care of all of my now substantial debts) but this has been withheld from me so my financial condition continues according to God's 1994 word.

In the past year, I have slowly been building up a pantry to have necessities in case of a time of shortages, unemployment or the ravages of inflation. I have felt prompted by the Spirit to do this although there was no special word in this regard.

My glass-doored cupboard shelves have been stocked double high with canned and boxed goods. A few months ago when I glanced at the cupboards I saw a vision of the shelves nearly bare of the goods I had stocked up. That depletion has not happened yet, but in receiving the vision I know that God will have me in this apartment at least until that day when my cupboards match the vision. The 'poverty' will continue.

It is hard to face hardships and to let go of material well being, or to have our security taken from us. I have gone through a lot. When I have another round to go through it will also be painful. However, the journey through the trials of the past has taught me that God is present and loving and available for what I truly need. I have become grateful and even satisfied with less. I can find God in small moments now and seek Him with confidence in times of need. I am a much stronger person in my weakness. Despite my vulnerability, I am mostly in peace. When anxiety flares up I find God in prayer and peace is restored.

I have learned that God does not have to lift a person out of humble circumstances to fill them with true riches of His Presence, consolations, love, guidance, spirit, gifts of the spirit, confidence in Him, provision, or peace. In fact, having a lot and relying only on oneself can mask our need for God and make him harder to find when we find ourselves vulnerable.

The day will come when I will have the heart, molded by God, of the men who praised God in the chilly sparse room; there will be a moment of recognition, gratitude, and praise. I will recognize the fulfillment of God's plan, for his word given long ago. I will be grateful for the long hard road that deepened my faith in Him and continues to strengthen me against the day of evil.

We can all sense the uncertainty and vulnerability of the times we are in these days. Have faith in Jesus Christ, our Living God and seek Him. Follow him and He will lead you on the right path through this live and safely to the next.

Peace of Jesus.

Several months ago I had either a dream or vision that was God-given.

It was night and I was drawn to the door of the apartment across the hall from me. As I neared the door bright white light poured out from the cracks around the door until I could not see it anymore. Then two hands and arms which were bathed in the same white light reached out and hugged me.

I knew it was my mother and I experienced her love for me during that embrace. It was totally consoling and beautiful. I believe she was given a gift to reach out from heaven to let me know of her love and ongoing presence in my journey through life.

Although in life my mother and I had a good relationship without any strife, we were in our own worlds a lot (living far apart for many years) and she had been taught to distrust me as a Catholic. In her decline with terminal cancer, I did not think it was appropriate to try to bridge these and some other issues.

The dream/vision healed that area of pain and filled it with peace and love.

Thanks be to God.

At the beginning of this year I got re-energized in my spiritual walk, as if jostled from some kind of doze. It wasn't that I had been terribly remiss or anything; I had been going to Mass and did daily prayers, but it was like I was just dormant on low energy.

Then, at the end of 2007 and early 2008 it was as if I was 'called up' again and came out of Sleep Mode. It was really the strangest thing which I totally attribute to a movement of the Spirit. I began to go to monthly confession at St. Patrick Church, a neighboring church to my actual parish, and then began attending Mass there on Sundays and other devotions such as First Friday Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.

Instantly I felt at home at St. Pat's and in 'tune' with the parish. Despite belonging to a very good parish near my home the past 10 years, I never found a way to become involved in parish life there. It is a very Hispanic parish and both language, social, and cultural barriers kept me feeling like an outsider. In all the years there I never got to know anyone.

This was all so different than what I knew and loved when I lived in Danielson where I had many involvements with not only my parish there, but other groups and activities. During these past 10 years I really missed all that involvement and variety.

As I began going to St. Patrick's Church early this year, I also began attending weekday Mass a few times a week at another church near where I work on the other side of town. 

About 5 months ago I volunteered to be part of a St. Pat's team that serves lunch for the needy in the community one Friday a month at the Thomas Merton Center. [The meals there are served daily by Catholic Charities but St. Pat's provides the meals and labor one Friday each month.]  I love doing the meal service and being with the little team of people from the church.  It is a blessing to have some means of giving in a way that is not just an envelope.

This September I also began a Scripture study at St. Patrick's:



Our group meets for 2 hours on Saturday mornings where we go over the Session question and then watch a 1-hour teaching on the Session by Jeff Cavins, one of the developers of the course materials. It is an excellent program with plenty of depth; EWTN is currently airing the 1-hour Cavins session lectures in this series.

I feel my entire life has been greatly blessed by this spiritual movement that has been stirred up this year. I feel it has been feeding other aspects of my life and after a long time in a 'desert' there are flowers blooming again.

In prayer one evening, around the 21st, I 'heard' the Lord say to me "disciple"; this was to distinguish from another word, "cross". This was my understanding, that the Lord is calling me to work on being His disciple rather than to make a 'cross' sacrifice at this time.

This seems entirely right to me, since I know that I am a sloppy and inconsistent disciple.

Yesterday, 6/24, the Feast of the Birth of John the Baptist, I listened to a podcast by Joyce Meyers concerning what we choose to think about. My thoughts were on how much time I spend fruitlessly worrying or frustrated over a family money matter. I am determined to practice moving my mind off of this when it happens.

Joyce also says when you are angry about something, go do something nice for someone.

At Mass that evening something about these ponderings sort of 'clicked' in me. I saw how unfruitful it is to focus in on distressful thoughts and even on many good things that we might have that keep us from being good disciples. Even nice houses and riches become a burden of maintenence and that takes away from being mobile and able to be led by the Lord.

God might not call us to 'be mobile' but he might want more or better prayer time or for us to be out in the community lending a helping hand.

Today, the 25th, is the 27th anniversary of the first apparition of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Medjugorje. It is also the first day of a nine-day preparation for a large prayer event for our nation by Caritas. I plan to do some fasting and to practice turning my mind from my family matter, giving it to God, as I pray for this nation.

About a month or so ago, I received a vision:

It was the back view of a man; he was naked with his face turned around towards me. He was leaning over a large old cast-iron sink with his right arm on the edge. He was weeping bitterly and I could feel this bitter anguish during the brief vision.

I believe this vision was a man in purgatory, possibly my father. He was naked to represent that nothing was hidden from God or, especially from the man himself; the body was beefy to represent the worldliness of the person, his materialistic viewpoint as opposed to the spiritual that was so disregarded in the person's life. The image of the sink conveys the tremendous volume of the tears.

I prayed frequently for this person who I think was my father; on June 10th completed a plenary indulgence for my father. Since then I have felt peace surrounding this man/father.

I also saw another image a short time after this of a small triangular crack and understood that a crack had opened up. I believe this concerns the family issue with my sister who I have referred to as The Wall. I believe that perhaps with my Dad and Mom both in heaven, they are able to pray for their children and for things to be made right both in the issue between us and in our broken relationships.

May God be praised!

For more than a month I've been convicted about my habit of not keeping Sundays holy. It has been a common practice of mine to do grocery shopping after Mass on that day and also for doing a lot of chores.

The book, Look What Happened While You Were Sleeping by A Friend of Medjugorje stressed the importance of keeping all 10 of the Commandments, not just 9 of them. Sunday activities had become routine for me. Properly convicted, I decided to make the changes to live this day as a day of rest. When I shop on Sundays I cause other people to have to work that day, so I cut out the shopping.

I also try to do less on the computer and spend more time in prayer or reading that day with more quietness around me.

I've been doing this now for about 6 weeks and right away I noticed some new grace and blessings in my life. I feel more at peace and joyful and less prone to bouts of anxiety. Also, almost miraculously, I stopped being fowl-mouthed in certain impulsive situations such as in traffic and my thoughts seem to have stopped using that language to think about things.

Last Saturday, when I had a really lot to accomplish, time seemed to slow to a crawl; I got an amazing amount of work done in a short amount of time. Since time is a creature of God, I think I was given a sign that my new Sunday resolve is pleasing to Him.

Let me tell you, this is really wonderful!

My Lenten inspiration this year came through the Monthly Message given by the Blessed Virgin Mary, Our Lady Queen of Peace to the world through the Medjugorje visionary, Marija:

I don't think a single Ash Wednesday has gone by when there hasn't been at least one person I've encountered during the day who has found it necessary to make fun of the observance and/or of God.

Our sin, ignorance and mockery pierce You. When we are reminded of Your great Sacrifice on this day what is the response? For so many it seems automatic, like pushing a button and out comes an automatic snide remark.

Jesus, You had no need to die on the cross, but you did it for us, that we might have forgiveness and eternal life. Yet hearts are hard and shallow rather than humble and grateful to you, our Savior, to God the Father who has provided a means of reconcilliation for his creation by giving his only Son, and to the Holy Spirit who opens eyes and ears to the Truth.

Father, forgive the ignorant and sinful ones who do not know and love you on this day. Call them once again based on the merits of Your Son's Sacrifice. Open their ears, bring sight to their eyes and open their hearts to your Love.

Thank you, Jesus.

This is just a reflection of our culture, more than faith.

I don't like the choice of labels that predominate in our culture when it comes to God. They have been changed, secularized, or demonized:

religous - rather than indicate a deep faith in God and adherence to one's denomination, it has been demonized to suggest that the person is mindlessly following a set of religious rites.

spiritual - this word has been adopted by secularists as the 'proper' attitude or relationship to what is not material. Generally the 'spiritual' person (as it is commonly used) is 'free-thinking' and so cannot be 'bound' by the tenents of any one religion. Typically it is God's creation that inspires the feeling of being spiritual rather than any acknowledgement or interaction with God. Gone is any theology of sin, redemption or Savior. When I see someone describe themselves as 'spiritual' I know they like quiet walks on the beach.

Christian and Catholic (or other denominational labels) - these are usually adopted by people of true faith, but a percentage turn out to really be 'spiritual' or 'religous'. The use of the 'born again' ajective to indicate a Spirit-filled faith helps, but sometimes comes across a bit militant.

I am wary of putting a label on myself. Catholic fits best, but I think that often I don't act that Catholic or Christian. I see how much I could improve in my faith and as a representative of my religion. Perhaps better representatives can change the culture's definitions once again.

A year and a half ago the 15?-year-old granddaughter of one of my Christian friends suffered total kidney failure. Since then she has needed dialysis treatements at the hospital and, for a time, at home. Aside from enduring the time-consuming treatments, Elyse has been afflicted by chronic tiredness due to the impurities in her system. She has been home-schooled and tutored. She is also on a very strict and restricted diet.

Her mother, Elise, has requied a great deal of time off from work to care for her daughter. Elyse's grandparents, and other relatives and friends have also helped with her care and with transportation. The church has helped with collections for some of the expenses. A wide network of friends, family, and Christian prayer warriors have had Elyse in prayer for all these months.

Wednesday Elise donated one of her kidneys to Elyse and at last report the surgery was a success. Elyse has kidney function for the 1st time since her own failed. This is such great news and we need to pray them to full recovery.

Elyse has been fortunate to be a member of a large family that has been strong in their faith in God. The trials and tribulations of her health crisis was shared by the whole family and the Christian community around her. They had a ready source of supernatural renewal and comfort that has been faithful to their needs.

How do families fare through such crises' and tribulations without a strong faith in God during their times of need? Do the family members have the same strength to give deeply of themselves, and for so long? Do they have a community that will respond with help? Do they have a source of comfort and renewal?

My family did not have a foundation of Christian faith; individuals within the family did, but as a whole it wasn't there. We have faced much less than Elyse and Elise, and we have managed with a lot less success, all the while feeling alone. Sometimes I wonder how life would have been different had the foundation been more secure.

Praise the Lord in his work within Elyse, Elise and their family and community. May families make a choice to invite God to strengthen them in faith and love.